The anger, hatred.
y are these emotions coming back?
this fuming sensation inside of me.
can it never be taken away?

even though there are many unreasonable ppl in my house, i blame no one for the state i am in today.
reason being,
1. my whole family is crumbling, everyone is stressed out. so... _____
2. i caused unhappiness here and there around the house(no matter how hard i tried not to).

i rather have them screaming and scolding me, than me screaming and scolding them.
trying to speak to them will end up in fights within a few seconds.
staying quiet is the best solution for me i guess.

i deserved it.
i deserved all tt i am goin thru now.
all the problems, all the pain, the hurt.
i deserved it all.
but nevertheless, i have to kip my siblings together, to guide and help them thru.
it is my duty and responsibility being the oldest sis around.
if i cant guide and help myself, how can i even think of doin so for others?
i guess this gives me every reason to be stronger.

a broken family would result in a broken person.
but it is the person's Determination, Resilience and Love tt kips the family together.